What a Girl Wants

I am certainly not getting any younger. I am rapidly increasing in age (and in size btw) and even though most of my life and heart is satisfied. There is part of me that is still reaching for this seemingly unknown goal. I have a defined and growing “bucket list” and as I scratch things off, I am adding more on. The one constant in there however is that I want animals. I want sheep and goats. I want more chickens and turkey. I want ducks and guinea fowl. I want a big tree in front of my house. I want to have to take a walk in order to go find my husband who is digging a hole somewhere on our land with his tractor that he spends just as much time fixing as he does driving. This is what I really want. I know this is not a glamorous life. I know its not easy but it is really what i want. (Trust me I feel anything BUT glamorous when I am mucking the chicken coop)

Here is the thing about me. I dont think I will truly be happy with my makeshift life. I think unless I do it, there will be that slight tug and "shoulda" feelings. I just can't see any way to accomplish these things and still maintain the other things that make me happy in life. Its a real crap position!

So I will keep plugging away at my life, making my little garden, dealing with my little issues in my tiny little coop with my tiny little flock. I will train my (not so) tiny little new doggy and love my husband and children. But if you catch me staring off into space looking wistful, I just may be thinking about goats again...